Why Blended Family Matters
Because sometimes love isn't enough. Families need tools, support and a roadmap too.
When we married in 2002, we loved each other, loved God and loved our children. What we didn't have was a roadmap for bringing four children, two parents, different histories, different parenting styles and different expectations together and becoming one healthy family.
Within our first three years of marriage, we added two more children and found ourselves raising six children full-time while still learning how to be husband and wife, parents, bonus parents and partners in this new family we were building.
We made mistakes.
Some affected our marriage. Some affected our children. And some created wounds that took time, maturity, grace and intentional work to understand and heal.
That's one of the hardest parts of our story to acknowledge.
But it's also one of the biggest reasons Blended Family Matters Academy™ exists.
We can't go back and give the younger version of ourselves the tools, strategies and support we wish we'd had.
But we can help make sure other couples and families don't have to figure everything out the hard way.
This Is More Than a Business to Us
Blended Family Matters Academy™ isn't simply an organization, coaching practice or collection of programs and resources. For us, it's a calling.
We believe marriages matter. We believe families matter. And we believe blended families matter to God, and they absolutely matter to us too!
We've experienced firsthand how easily unresolved hurt, unrealistic expectations, communication breakdowns, parenting differences and complicated family dynamics can begin affecting not only a couple's relationship, but everyone connected to the family.
We've also experienced what can happen when people are willing to pray, get honest, seek help, learn new tools, extend grace, forgive, heal and keep doing the work.
Our goal isn't to help families look perfect. Our goal is to help families become healthier.
That's why we're willing to talk honestly about the good parts of our story as well as the parts we wish we'd handled differently.
If sharing what we've learned can help another couple strengthen their marriage, help parents make healthier decisions, help children experience less unnecessary hurt, or help a family move from simply blended toward truly bonded, then sharing our story is worth it.
How We’re Living Out Our Why
Marriage & Blended Family Coaching
Through our 6-week virtual small-group coaching program and limited private couples coaching, we help blended family couples, as well as traditional married and engaged couples, identify challenges, strengthen their relationships and develop practical strategies for building healthier families.
Workshops, Speaking & Events
We bring honest conversation, lived experience, practical strategies and faith-rooted guidance to marriage conferences, couples’ retreats, churches, workshops, panels and community events. Based in the Chicago area, we're available virtually and for select local, national and international engagements.
Real Conversations
Through the Pickens' Realities & Blended Family Truths podcast and our social media platforms, we talk openly about marriage, relationships, parenting and blended family life, all of it: the good, the bad, the difficult, the funny, the painful, and all the lessons we've learned along the way!
Practical & Faith-Rooted Resources
Through books, guides, prayer resources, tools and other content, we provide couples and families with practical information they can actually use beyond a podcast episode, coaching session or workshop.
Community & Connection
Through BFMA's online community and social platforms, we're building a space where people can learn, connect, be encouraged and know they aren't the only ones navigating these realities.
Don’t Give Up… Your Family’s Story Is Still Being Written
We're not a perfect family, and we'll never pretend to be.
We're a real family that has experienced love, laughter, mistakes, hurt, forgiveness, healing, growth and God's grace through it all.
And after more than two decades of blended family life, we know this much: Hard doesn't mean hopeless.
Your marriage can grow. Relationships can heal. Families can learn healthier ways of communicating and connecting. And mistakes don't have to become the final chapter of your family's story. Our story is still being written….and so is yours.
That's why we're here. That's why we share. That's why we coach.
And that's why Blended Family Matters.
Real Families. Real Challenges. Real Solutions.